One of the characteristics that separates elite athletes from their less successful counterparts is their extraordinary aversion to losing or will to succeed. In Sport Psychology we often talk to athletes about the Need Achievement Theory. This refers to whether an individual is focusing on approaching success or avoiding failure. I often use the terms “achieve” and “avoid,” as I ask athletes “Are you more focused on achieving success or avoiding failure?” "Do you know how to achieve your goals?''
In simpler terms we’re really talking about whether a person likes winning more than he hates losing or wants to change success to failure or failure to success. Traditionally we have focused on developing athletes who fall into the “achieve” category and really want to win. However, I have found that many pro athletes even when they have the will to succeed they truly hate losing more than they love winning. Sure, they like the feeling of winning but nothing is worse than that feeling right after a loss. Elite athletes have an almost unimaginable aversion to that feeling; they never learn to accept it.
It’s almost a prerequisite to being great, “Those who can accept losing need not apply.” Russell, MJ, Magic, Bird, they all HATED losing. Remember how LeBron James reacted after losing to the Magic last year? (He refused to shake hands). How about Tiger after the Master’s…did he look happy? Compare that to Carmelo Anthony laughing in his postgame interview after getting ousted by the Jazz on Friday. I love Carmelo but that reaction showed me that he doesn’t hate losing enough to be great yet. You can learn a lot about an athlete by watching his/her response to losing. Do they look like they REALLY hate it? In the end, you may know how to achieve your goals and have probably even reached many goals to be successful in your life, but is it the achievement of the goal or avoiding failure that actually drives you and gives you the will to succeed?
In simpler terms we’re really talking about whether a person likes winning more than he hates losing or wants to change success to failure or failure to success. Traditionally we have focused on developing athletes who fall into the “achieve” category and really want to win. However, I have found that many pro athletes even when they have the will to succeed they truly hate losing more than they love winning. Sure, they like the feeling of winning but nothing is worse than that feeling right after a loss. Elite athletes have an almost unimaginable aversion to that feeling; they never learn to accept it.
It’s almost a prerequisite to being great, “Those who can accept losing need not apply.” Russell, MJ, Magic, Bird, they all HATED losing. Remember how LeBron James reacted after losing to the Magic last year? (He refused to shake hands). How about Tiger after the Master’s…did he look happy? Compare that to Carmelo Anthony laughing in his postgame interview after getting ousted by the Jazz on Friday. I love Carmelo but that reaction showed me that he doesn’t hate losing enough to be great yet. You can learn a lot about an athlete by watching his/her response to losing. Do they look like they REALLY hate it? In the end, you may know how to achieve your goals and have probably even reached many goals to be successful in your life, but is it the achievement of the goal or avoiding failure that actually drives you and gives you the will to succeed?
(Portions of article courtesy of Noah Gentner PhD)
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